I do feel that an arsehole and an asshole are different types of people; they’re both unpleasant but arseholes are more of a risk.  You can dismiss an asshole more flippantly; “don’t listen to her, she’s an asshole.”  On the other hand, I’d be more likely to say “watch out for him, he’s an arsehole.”

AND WHILE WE’RE HERE GEMS AS FRUIT

Steven is canonically a strawberry.  Connie said so.  (He is also a watermelon but you know what I said about the Cucurbitae.)

Pearl is white currants.  Aren’t they pretty?

Garnet is a pomegranate because of etymology.

Amethyst is passionfruit because it’s round and purple and because of this picture that looks like the passionfruit is barfing.  I feel she’d enjoy that.

Lapis Lazuli is blueberries because she’s been unenthusiastic about this project from the beginning so she just gets the most obvious choice. 

Peridot could be a green grape or a lime but I like to think of her as an avocado because it’s the right colour (inside at least) and it has that pear shape like her hips.

Jasper is a blood orange (with that funky teal-coloured mould when she gets corrupted) but with the right redemption arc I feel she could be a great big peach.

Ruby Squad are raspberries.

Gems as vegetables

SO NOW I AM ASSIGNING GEMS TO VEGETABLES

because it’s already practically canon that Jasper is a pumpkin

Steven is CANONICALLY a watermelon which isn’t exactly a vegetable but you know what it does belong to the pepo group/Cucurbitae which includes things commonly regarded as vegetables such as pumpkins, squash and cucumbers so we’re going to let it slide

Pearl is a spring onion.  

Amethyst is a purple kumara which is a type of sweet potato; it has a purple skin and a lumpy shape but a heart of gold.

Peridot is a peapod because Amethyst called her Peapod once and I’m not about to argue with her girlfriend, also it’s cute.

Garnet is a mushroom because a mushroom isn’t exactly one thing or another. 

Lapis Lazuli is a Blue Vantage cabbage because it is prohibitively difficult to find genuinely blue (not purple) vegetables and she can just be happy I made an effort, also cabbage makes people fart and she is on record as amused by fart noises.

ETA: Ruby Squad are these little red yams which aren’t technically yams but in New Zealand we all call them yams okay, they yam what they yam.

(If you want to get accurate they’re a tuber from South America called uqa (in Quechua) or oca (in Spanish) and Oxalis tuberosa in Latin.)

here’s why jasper is coming back you sillies:

aprillikesthings:

equilateralwaffle:

golvio:

jaspuppy:

I don’t know when exactly she’s coming back (I keep pushing my predictions forward in time because they keep putting off her arc/return of the corrupted gems in general so)

1.) she’s corrupted and the corrupted gems have been a huge part of the plot literally since episode 1 so they aren’t going to end the series without finding a way to heal them

2.) the crying breakfast friends short has a blatantly obvious jasper expy get a redemption arc and if it’s anything like the week of sardonyx it’ll be messier than “wanna try it?” “ok but I am angry about it” (episode ends with them crying tears of joy) but the outcome will probably be the same

3.) believe it or not there WAS a time when it wasn’t just “lapidot and the crystal gems” she is part of the homeworld trio and currently lapis and peridot have an orange dog tag along on their adventures like that seems pretty obvious to me that she will join them eventually

4.) lapis’s development is clearly not over yet and like it or not a huge part of that is tied to her guilt over what she did to jasper and what she did in ocean gem

5.) JASPER thinks she doesn’t deserve to be saved because she hates herself so honestly why would a show about love be like “lol yeah she totally doesn’t deserve love because she’s terrible” and validate all of that toxic and maladaptive thinking that got her in this mess in the first place

like I am getting pretty concerned because I want her to have an arc where she heals and isn’t demonized because she’s not the kind of survivor who is cute, pretty, or likable but I feel like no matter what she’s going to come back eventually

I’m still firmly of the belief that they’re waiting until the start of a season to bring her back, because Jasper’s redemption is going to be so slow-burn and complex that it will require an entire season devoted to it to be satisfyingly developed. Once we hit that point, it will be the Season of TurboJasp.

oh it better be, we’ve waited this long!!!

oh my god please i would fucking love a whole season of jasper

as someone who has written more words than the Fellowship of the Ring about Jasper redemption YEAH FUCK YEAH